Since he left, the world hasn’t changed, but everything feels different.

I still have the same job. I still wake up to the same routine, drive the same route to work, and return to the same house, to the same family. My schedule hasn’t shifted one bit. And yet, every moment feels offbeat, like I’m moving through a life that used to feel full and now feels muted.

I no longer wait eagerly for his texts or get excited when his name lights up my phone. I no longer search for weekend trips or new places to explore, because the joy wasn’t in the destination, it was in going there with him.

Going back to the same routine I had before we met has been harder than I imagined. Because now I know what it feels like to have someone like him in my life. He was like a raindrop in my desert, a warm blanket in my coldness. He made ordinary days feel magical. He made the world feel safe and bright.

When we had plans, I would count down the days like a kid waiting for a birthday. I hadn’t felt that kind of excitement in a long time. I realize now that I emotionally depended on him for a kind of happiness I didn’t even know I’d been missing.

That doesn’t mean I wasn’t happy before him. I was content with my life. But being with him, that was a different kind of happiness. A deeper one. He wasn’t just my boyfriend; he was my best friend. With him, even rainy days felt like sunshine.

To experience a love like that is a gift. But when it ends, it hurts a thousand times more. And now, even in the same world, everything feels strange without him.